I promised you guys that I was going to dedicate a blog to responses posted here by Jordan on behalf of one of his friends. It became apparent to me as I read the lackluster commentary he supplied and the completely ineffective points he tried to raise that he loathes Superman. I'm fine with that, of course. Different strokes for different folks, and all that, but I was intrigued enough by his contempt (erroneous as his points were) to do some web browsing and I found a number of bloggers who shared his opinions on Superman. So I did what anybody interested in other people's opinions on a topic should do; I read the blogs.
Here's what I learned; people who hate Superman are stupid.
That's it. There's no deeply hidden secret wisdom to be found anywhere in this topic. Just an observation that the single most defining trait of these people is an apparent lack of intelligence and the inability to represent Superman with anything better than the shallowest of understandings of the character. I can't tell you why stupid people feel compelled to hate on him. I can't tell you why stupid people are driven to share their stupidity and boast about their ignorance of the character.
I can only tell you that they do it, and reading their arguments makes me lament for the educational system.
Now that that is out of my system.......how about we start punching holes in what was a very poorly thought out assault on the brilliant tutorial I gave all of you on how to hate Spider-Man. And before any of you say it.........
We're going to start by taking this argument apart as we work our way through it. I have not edited this argument in any way. Where would be the fun in that?
"Im not necessarily defending Spiderman by your point of view, just simply having a debate. You say that spiderman is motivated by guilt and on this note I do agree; however, what motivates many of our other comic book characters? Batman= obsession (possibly mental derangement), Punisher = vengeance (another psychopath), The X-man= basically ethnic struggles (nothing heroic they are just trying to fit in. Even if they got rid of the segregation they would still naturally segregate the way people of different ethnicity do now.) Captain America= he is simply a soldier. He is possibly the most heroic but basically hes just a man following orders. Maybe if he made these decisions on his own I would say he was a super hero but hes simply the same sort of hero any firefighter or police officer is. Hes doing his job."
Wow. We jump right out of the gate and go straight for some of the most uninformed arguments I've ever seen.
Batman: I'm okay with the argument that Batman is suffering from obsession, although I think that's a very surface level view that doesn't fully encompass the motivation of the character. Batman is also seeking justice, not just for himself, but for everyone. Which IS heroic.
Punisher: After that start though, we lose ground quickly and I have to ask....who groups Punisher in with heroes? Anyone who reads that book knows that the guy isn't a hero.....he's a serial killer. Lumping him into this argument suggests that you don't even have a full grasp on what we're debating.
X-Men: There's nothing heroic about ethnic struggles? So Rosa Parks wasn't heroic for what she did? Dr. King wasn't demonstrating heroic leadership in the face of terrible adversity? Civil rights leaders didn't show great personal sacrifice and heroism in pursuit of what was morally right? Suggesting that there is nothing heroic in ethnic struggles for equality all but eliminated you from being allowed to express your opinion here in the future. That was a colossally ignorant statement.
Captain America: Simply a soldier? Just following orders? Do you even read Captain America? There is almost no basis for you to make that argument, and just to clear it up for those people who don't read Cap on a regular basis.....he doesn't follow orders because he's NOT in the military anymore. In fact Cap was the person who rebelled against the United States government and defended personal liberty and freedom during the Civil War. Your understanding of that character is grossly flawed. Cap is very heroic. He is a time-lost solider who has returned to a world that has left his values behind. Instead of submitting himself to the modern ideal, he holds to values and virtues society has left behind and he fights for them at great personal cost.
Firefights & Police Officers: Can be and often are heroes as well. Like Super Heroes, what motivates everyday people determines whether or not what they do is heroic.
In summation.....after rereading your opening sortie a number of times..........I'm still looking for a valid point. Spider-Man is still the biggest loser ever, and his motivation for action remains the most selfish. He's a douchebag.
Now, on to more of your argument....
"And finally to what i would assume is you favorite: superman. Dude.... hes an alien.... Nothing "Super" about that. Hes the same as a green man from mars with a little ray gun. ANYWAY... he has super powers... ok. Lets look at them. He has: Super strength, flight, freeze breath, eye beams, invincible, super speed, apparently he thinks faster than a normal human, and he comes back to life just about any time he dies. Whats s hard about saving the earth at that point. And ok you make a good point. Supe has a very iconic villa. Hell probably one of my favorites. I mean whats not to like about your basic average human being taking on a GOD. But hey, lets even talk about his iconic villain (who isnt named after an insect, but actually a wrestler). Ok what is superman's weakness... A frikn rock (weak). But moving on this rarity of mineral is apparently fragments from Superman's home world, which apparently is supposed to make him "mortal" again yet somehow always makes him wallow in his own self pity. Again to my real point about this rock. It is fragments from a planet which blew up. Now if this rock is from light years away How in the world can you explain that every villain seems to have pieces of it; more so How does Lex Luther seem to be able to shit bricks of this crap out anytime hes facing superman? I mean come on in one issue he had Kryptonian steroids :S."
Ah, the attack on Superman. How original, and utterly uninspired. Apparently now we're embracing racism at its highest level, because you can't be "super" unless you were born on Earth. I guess that would explain why there was nothing heroic about the X-Men fighting for equality for all peoples. Superman's place of origin has absolutely ZERO bearing on whether or not his actions or motivations are heroic, which is why Adam Strange, Hawkman, Martian Manhunter, Thor, Silver Surfer and a host of other non-humans also qualify as heroes. This was a truly ridiculous statement, and I'm done with it.
I'd be interested to know where you got your summation of his powers, and what reference you used to determine that Clark Kent thinks faster than a normal human does. I'm not saying that it isn't true, but it certainly doesn't show up that way in any of the comics I've read. My understanding is that he simply reacts faster because of his superspeed. That isn't the power description I take actual exception to though. It's the suggestion that he comes back to life "just about any time he dies." This exposes the motive behind your anti-Superman rhetoric and thankfully you are now just a statistic in my review of people who hate Superman; you don't know shit about him. You clearly don't read him, and you've never read any one of the number of brilliantly written Superman stories told by some of the finest authors to grace comics. It's called a PREJUDICE because you prejudge without gathering facts.
For those of you keeping score at home, Superman has 'technically' never died. But to make things simple and easy for everyone who stays 9 miles from Superman stories and only reads the hype, we'll credit him with one actual death and resurrection. Sound like anyone else you know? Nick Fury? Steve Rogers? Hal Jordan? Barry Allen? Jean Grey? Professor Xavier? Frank Castle? How long a list of people with this apparent super-power do I need to make before the stupidity of that comment becomes glaringly evident?
What's hard about saving the earth? Is that supposed to be a serious comment? Casting aside the obvious answer that super heroes are confronted with super villains every day, or that nobody could be everywhere at once, smart writers manage to remind us every day that for somebody who holds himself up a living example of how to do the right thing, he is constantly faced with numerous challenges that aren't resolved with simple displays of power. Like anyone dealing with our fractured world he struggles with politics, government policy and the law and how it relates to doing what is right. He struggles with emotions, and intellectual conundrums which are at the heart of all good conflicts as well. All of this you might know if you ever cracked open a Superman book and pulled your head out of your ass. What's hard about saving the earth? Well for starters......there's all these stupid people on it who are constantly making things worse.
Lex Luthor fun fact #1: he wasn't named after a wrestler and that's the most retarded comment I've read yet. Which wrestler who was around in the 1940's exactly are we talking about? Moving on....
You refer to Luthor as a basic, average human being taking on a god. Lex Luthor fun fact #2: he is not an average human being, and nothing about his is basic. The man is a scientific genius on a level that surpasses Bruce Wayne, has access to the kind of financial backing that rivals Batman and manages to work in the kinds of shadows that are not Clark's forte at exposing. That doesn't sound like me. Or my neighbor. Or anyone who lives in my town come to think of it, which I suppose would then mean that he's nowhere near average. He is, in fact, the perfect foil for Superman because he relies on his cunning and unscrupulous brilliance to stand down Superman's other-worldly power.
I'm not going to spend a lot of time defending the Kryptonite argument because it's as shallow an assessment as anything else you've brought up. I'm not going to get into the explanation of why radioactive isotopes might adversely affect a man who is effectively just a solar battery, because I've already seen the puddle deep thinking you're capable of and I don't want to risk you having an aneurysm trying to keep up. Suffice it to say that I don't mind if you hate that aspect of his story, but I do mind that you think it's his only weakness. Just another sign that you have no idea what you're talking about. The wallow in self-pity line only underscores your desperation to join the 'Stupid people hate Superman' club. You're lashing out and making things up as you do it, and for what purpose? You could have just written, 'I hate Superman' and moved on.
Oh, and yes some of the less talented writers who have gotten their hands on the character over the years have left people with the impression that there is an abundance of Kryptonite on earth. Is that the character's shortcoming, or just bad writing? For the record, most villains do not use Kryptonite, so we'll just add that to the list of thing's you're completely wrong about. Bringing us to a grand sum total of......everything.
Before we kill this evisceration of the worst argument ever put forward, I'd like to draw everyone's attention to a small, yet fun fact. Your review of characters was meant to challenge the motivation of them in comparison to Spider-Crap, yet when you got to Superman you changed gears. Why? Well that's obvious.
Because of all of the heroes he has the most noble motivation.
He does it because it's the RIGHT thing to do.
I'm not even half way through and I'm a full blog into
Until then......I'm right.........and Spider-Man still sucks.