Why do stupid people hate on Superman?

It's a pretty simple question.

I promised you guys that I was going to dedicate a blog to responses posted here by Jordan on behalf of one of his friends. It became apparent to me as I read the lackluster commentary he supplied and the completely ineffective points he tried to raise that he loathes Superman.  I'm fine with that, of course.  Different strokes for different folks, and all that, but I was intrigued enough by his contempt (erroneous as his points were) to do some web browsing and I found a number of bloggers who shared his opinions on Superman.  So I did what anybody interested in other people's opinions on a topic should do; I read the blogs.

Here's what I learned; people who hate Superman are stupid.

That's it.  There's no deeply hidden secret wisdom to be found anywhere in this topic.  Just an observation that the single most defining trait of these people is an apparent lack of intelligence and the inability to represent Superman with anything better than the shallowest of understandings of the character.  I can't tell you why stupid people feel compelled to hate on him.  I can't tell you why stupid people are driven to share their stupidity and boast about their ignorance of the character.

I can only tell you that they do it, and reading their arguments makes me lament for the educational system.

Now that that is out of my system.......how about we start punching holes in what was a very poorly thought out assault on the brilliant tutorial I gave all of you on how to hate Spider-Man.  And before any of you say it.........

YOU'RE WELCOME.

 We're going to start by taking this argument apart as we work our way through it.  I have not edited this argument in any way. Where would be the fun in that?

"Im not necessarily defending Spiderman by your point of view, just simply having a debate. You say that spiderman is motivated by guilt and on this note I do agree; however, what motivates many of our other comic book characters? Batman= obsession (possibly mental derangement), Punisher = vengeance (another psychopath), The X-man= basically ethnic struggles (nothing heroic they are just trying to fit in. Even if they got rid of the segregation they would still naturally segregate the way people of different ethnicity do now.) Captain America= he is simply a soldier. He is possibly the most heroic but basically hes just a man following orders. Maybe if he made these decisions on his own I would say he was a super hero but hes simply the same sort of hero any firefighter or police officer is. Hes doing his job."

Wow. We jump right out of the gate and go straight for some of the most uninformed arguments I've ever seen.

Batman: I'm okay with the argument that Batman is suffering from obsession, although I think that's a very surface level view that doesn't fully encompass the motivation of the character.  Batman is also seeking justice, not just for himself, but for everyone.  Which IS heroic.

Punisher: After that start though, we lose ground quickly and I have to ask....who groups Punisher in with heroes?  Anyone who reads that book knows that the guy isn't a hero.....he's a serial killer. Lumping him into this argument suggests that you don't even have a full grasp on what we're debating.

X-Men: There's nothing heroic about ethnic struggles?  So Rosa Parks wasn't heroic for what she did?  Dr. King wasn't demonstrating heroic leadership in the face of terrible adversity? Civil rights leaders didn't show great personal sacrifice and heroism in pursuit of what was morally right? Suggesting that there is nothing heroic in ethnic struggles for equality all but eliminated you from being allowed to express your opinion here in the future. That was a colossally ignorant statement.

Captain America:  Simply a soldier? Just following orders?  Do you even read Captain America?  There is almost no basis for you to make that argument, and just to clear it up for those people who don't read Cap on a regular basis.....he doesn't follow orders because he's NOT in the military anymore.  In fact Cap was the person who rebelled against the United States government and defended personal liberty and freedom during the Civil War.  Your understanding of that character is grossly flawed.  Cap is very heroic.  He is a time-lost solider who has returned to a world that has left his values behind.  Instead of submitting himself to the modern ideal, he holds to values and virtues society has left behind and he fights for them at great personal cost.

Firefights & Police Officers: Can be and often are heroes as well.  Like Super Heroes, what motivates everyday people determines whether or not what they do is heroic.

In summation.....after rereading your opening sortie a number of times..........I'm still looking for a valid point.  Spider-Man is still the biggest loser ever, and his motivation for action remains the most selfish.  He's a douchebag.

Now, on to more of your argument....

"And finally to what i would assume is you favorite: superman. Dude.... hes an alien.... Nothing "Super" about that. Hes the same as a green man from mars with a little ray gun. ANYWAY... he has super powers... ok. Lets look at them. He has: Super strength, flight, freeze breath, eye beams, invincible, super speed, apparently he thinks faster than a normal human, and he comes back to life just about any time he dies. Whats s hard about saving the earth at that point. And ok you make a good point. Supe has a very iconic villa. Hell probably one of my favorites. I mean whats not to like about your basic average human being taking on a GOD. But hey, lets even talk about his iconic villain (who isnt named after an insect, but actually a wrestler). Ok what is superman's weakness... A frikn rock (weak). But moving on this rarity of mineral is apparently fragments from Superman's home world, which apparently is supposed to make him "mortal" again yet somehow always makes him wallow in his own self pity. Again to my real point about this rock. It is fragments from a planet which blew up. Now if this rock is from light years away How in the world can you explain that every villain seems to have pieces of it; more so How does Lex Luther seem to be able to shit bricks of this crap out anytime hes facing superman? I mean come on in one issue he had Kryptonian steroids :S."

Ah, the attack on Superman.  How original, and utterly uninspired. Apparently now we're embracing racism at its highest level, because you can't be "super" unless you were born on Earth.  I guess that would explain why there was nothing heroic about the X-Men fighting for equality for all peoples. Superman's place of origin has absolutely ZERO bearing on whether or not his actions or motivations are heroic, which is why Adam Strange, Hawkman, Martian Manhunter, Thor, Silver Surfer and a host of other non-humans also qualify as heroes. This was a truly ridiculous statement, and I'm done with it.

I'd be interested to know where you got your summation of his powers, and what reference you used to determine that Clark Kent thinks faster than a normal human does. I'm not saying that it isn't true, but it certainly doesn't show up that way in any of the comics I've read.  My understanding is that he simply reacts faster because of his superspeed.  That isn't the power description I take actual exception to though.  It's the suggestion that he comes back to life "just about any time he dies." This exposes the motive behind your anti-Superman rhetoric and thankfully you are now just a statistic in my review of people who hate Superman; you don't know shit about him.  You clearly don't read him, and you've never read any one of the number of brilliantly written Superman stories told by some of the finest authors to grace comics.  It's called a PREJUDICE because you prejudge without gathering facts.

For those of you keeping score at home, Superman has 'technically' never died.  But to make things simple and easy for everyone who stays 9 miles from Superman stories and only reads the hype, we'll credit him with one actual death and resurrection.  Sound like anyone else you know?  Nick Fury? Steve Rogers? Hal Jordan? Barry Allen? Jean Grey? Professor Xavier? Frank Castle? How long a list of people with this apparent super-power do I need to make before the stupidity of that comment becomes glaringly evident?

What's hard about saving the earth? Is that supposed to be a serious comment? Casting aside the obvious answer that super heroes are confronted with super villains every day, or that nobody could be everywhere at once, smart writers manage to remind us every day that for somebody who holds himself up a living example of how to do the right thing, he is constantly faced with numerous challenges that aren't resolved with simple displays of power.  Like anyone dealing with our fractured world he struggles with politics, government policy and the law and how it relates to doing what is right. He struggles with emotions, and intellectual conundrums which are at the heart of all good conflicts as well.  All of this you might know if you ever cracked open a Superman book and pulled your head out of your ass. What's hard about saving the earth?  Well for starters......there's all these stupid people on it who are constantly making things worse.

Lex Luthor fun fact #1: he wasn't named after a wrestler and that's the most retarded comment I've read yet.  Which wrestler who was around in the 1940's exactly are we talking about?  Moving on....

You refer to Luthor as a basic, average human being taking on a god. Lex Luthor fun fact #2: he is not an average human being, and nothing about his is basic.  The man is a scientific genius on a level that surpasses Bruce Wayne, has access to the kind of financial backing that rivals Batman and manages to work in the kinds of shadows that are not Clark's forte at exposing. That doesn't sound like me.  Or my neighbor. Or anyone who lives in my town come to think of it, which I suppose would then mean that he's nowhere near average. He is, in fact, the perfect foil for Superman because he relies on his cunning and unscrupulous brilliance to stand down Superman's other-worldly power.

I'm not going to spend a lot of time defending the Kryptonite argument because it's as shallow an assessment as anything else you've brought up.  I'm not going to get into the explanation of why radioactive isotopes might adversely affect a man who is effectively just a solar battery, because I've already seen the puddle deep thinking you're capable of and I don't want to risk you having an aneurysm trying to keep up. Suffice it to say that I don't mind if you hate that aspect of his story, but I do mind that you think it's his only weakness.  Just another sign that you have no idea what you're talking about.  The wallow in self-pity line only underscores your desperation to join the 'Stupid people hate Superman' club. You're lashing out and making things up as you do it, and for what purpose?  You could have just written, 'I hate Superman' and moved on.

Oh, and yes some of the less talented writers who have gotten their hands on the character over the years have left people with the impression that there is an abundance of Kryptonite on earth.  Is that the character's shortcoming, or just bad writing? For the record, most villains do not use Kryptonite, so we'll just add that to the list of thing's you're completely wrong about.  Bringing us to a grand sum total of......everything.

Before we kill this evisceration of the worst argument ever put forward, I'd like to draw everyone's attention to a small, yet fun fact.  Your review of characters was meant to challenge the motivation of them in comparison to Spider-Crap, yet when you got to Superman you changed gears. Why?  Well that's obvious.

Because of all of the heroes he has the most noble motivation.

He does it because it's the RIGHT thing to do.

Wow.

I'm not even half way through and I'm a full blog into revealing highlighting your raging idiocy to the world.  I can't reveal it, because you took care of that when you wrote this inane response. Looks like we'll be back for more kicking of your opinion's ass soon.

Until then......I'm right.........and Spider-Man still sucks.

Secret Origins - the second try

I wrote something really clever.

Honest.

It was this scathing response to the fact that most secret origins are completely lame and absolutely lost in a history that doesn't reflect the modernity of comic readers at present.  I also did an admirable job of pointing out that the origins used by DC to create their biggest stars felt more like modern mythology than the origins used by Marvel, which for the most part were terrible.

And then I pressed the wrong button and lost it all.

Here are a couple excerpts from my review of secret origins that I recall clearly and that I think merit commentary.

Fantastic Four - What on earth were Susan and Johnny Storm doing on board the experimental flight?  I get that Grim was an air force pilot and Reed was the genius and his best friend.  Who takes their girlfriend and her kid brother on a test flight into outer space?  Even if they did all get wicked super-powers, shouldn't that have been the first sign that he was a criminal? Negligence that seems almost willful isn't heroic at all. On top of that.....since when do test pilots let the designer fly with them?  Maybe Grim's the problem......or maybe Doom's been right about Reed all along. Doctor Doom's public service announcement; Reed Richards sucks.

Thor - Thor actually is a character with an epic mythological background, and yet his actual origin is almost as lame as Spider-Man's.  While walking through the wooded hillside (on holiday) in Norway, Dr. Donald Blake stumbles on an alien scouting party preparing for an invasion of Earth.  *Raise your hand if you would have just let the Aliens have Norway.* Blake limps away into the hills to try and escape them and stumbles into a cave where he finds his path blocked.  In frustration he slams a stick he found into the ground and is transformed into Thor. DUMB.

Spider-Man - Seriously?  I've covered this already.

Green Lantern - Intergalactic police force that recruits without even an interview process.  Canada's police force isn't perfect, but at least there are tests you have to pass.  Not Oa's force though.  The light picks you and then they give you access to the most powerful weapon in the universe. Anyone else not at all surprised when you find out that the Oans have had problems with their police force from time to time?  At the very least shouldn't somebody run a background check on you?  So what if you have the ability to overcome great fear?  You could still be a complete jerk.

Wonder Woman - If Amazonians are immortal and don't age, why did she? Other than that, she has a very classic Greek mythology origin, and I like it.

Amadeus Cho - Might be Marvel's best origin ever.  If you don't know it you're missing out.  The character shows up in Incredible Hulk right before World War Hulk and we are introduced to him as the seventh smartest person on Earth. He has a hypermind (his mind is a functional super-computer - mutant?) and runs thousands of calculations every second.  Using this he ends up aligned with Herc to help Hulk.  Long story short?  Herc's sister Athena is preparing him to become the next HERO (in the classic Greek sense) of Earth, as Hercule's time is coming to an end.  Very cool all the way around.


Also, some origin's I would like to see:

1. The non-origin: I'd like to see the character that doesn't explain his origin.  EVER. Ten years into the story I want to find out that he's like Mar-Vel and he's come to earth to prepare us for invasion.  Then I want to look back on the decade worth of books and be like "WOW......how did I not see it?"

2.  Secret Society.  Aztek, a largely ignored Grant Morison character from the nineties tried this, but because the book didn't last long enough I never got to see it fulfilled. I like the idea of a person brought into power as the direct result of a secret society with an agenda that may or may not line up with what other heroes believe is best for the planet.  This is also the format for Azrael, but I don't find the new Azrael captures it like Denis O'Neal's did.  In any event, I'd like to get drawn deeper into the world of secret societies in one of these books, maybe even finding a society hidden within a society.

3. Bitten by a radioactive animal that is cooler than a spider.

Alright, I'm out.

Unions, Flash & Transmetropolitan

Unions. Women in wrestling.

I just wanted to prove that there were at least two other things I hate as much as Spider-Man.  I've been getting some suggestions from people that maybe I am letting a lot of my own personal anger manifest in the topic, but I assure everyone that I retain special levels of contempt and dislike for many other things in this world.Stupidity might be at the top of my list.

As much as I detest Spider-Man, I love The Flash.  Like the explanation regarding Parker, I didn't grow up adoring Flash.  Sure I knew who he was, and sometimes when I was running around in my backyard as a kid, with my towel wrapped around my neck playing super heroes with the neighborhood kids, I would run really fast and claim I was the Flash.But my love for the character never really manifested until the strangest of Novembers (or was it Decembers) in Ottawa.

I was in the Silver Snail, walking through the aisles with my then girlfriend, and commenting on the different books that had been released that week.  She asked me if I read The Flash, and I told her that I had never gotten into it.  I explained that it wasn't that I didn't like the hero, but for me The Flash died with Barry Allen's noble sacrifice in Crisis On Infinite Earths.  This was the first time that DC felt that a teen sidekick was ready to take over and they made a big play by doing it through the death of a well established character.  While I had been explaining this to her, she had been leafing through the recent issue, and she put it back on the rack awkwardly, and before I could walk away, the issue fell open to the back page.

Standing there was Barry Allen.

I paused, and did a double take.  I bought the issue, because I needed to know how, and why.  At first I was excited, but as I drove back to my dorm trying to get my head around what I was going to read, I started to get angry.  Barry alive?  Didn't that slap Crisis in the face, and demean his sacrifice? The read was actually very good, and so I bought the next issue.  And the one after that.  What unfolded before me changed my view on The Flash forever.  I had read Waid's work before, but I had never been so captivated by the story that I bothered to find out who he was.  This run changed all of that.  It is called The Barry Allen Saga, and without ruining it for anyone who's never read it, it changed the way I viewed The Flash, and more specifically Wally West.

It didn't stop there either.  What Wade, Augustyn and eventually Geoff Johns did on the rest of that run, and into the next one, was make The Flash one of the greatest comic books of the nineties and into the new millennium. If you're on the outside, looking in and wondering why all the Flash love in comicdom, read that series.  The Flash, Volume 2.  The Barry Allen Saga. It's terrific.  And in it we meet all manner of speedsters from across the DC Universe.  For me, this is when the book starts to become about the legacy of speed, and not just about Jay, or Barry, or Wally or Bart.

It's good stuff.

A couple of questions before I go.

Wonder Woman's getting up there in age.  Shouldn't she be going into her nesting phase any time now? Her mother prayed and reached out and sought a boon from the gods in order to create Diana.  Isn't it time for her to give mom a grandchild?

I always liked the idea that Arthur would be her husband one day, but apparently that's not going to happen after all he's been through.

Why does the X-Universe always have to be such a colossal cluster?  I miss being able to care about mutants and what was going on in their world.  When did it become too much of a nuissance?

Why isn't Transmetropolitan a movie yet? Spider Jerusalem is a personality that belongs on a bigger screen.

I'm out.

What NOT to like about Spider-Man; a guide to hating Marvel's most overrated loser

The title says it all.

I got an email from an old friend who is a follower of this worthless blog, and he inquired about my seemingly unrelenting assassination of Peter Parker as a character.  Rather than answer his email, because that seemed like too much work, I thought the topic would bear some commentary here, where other fans of the biggest loser to ever merit his own comic, could come to attack my opinion and get truly irate at my nonsensical contempt for Marvel's iconic web-slinger.

I guess I should start by explaining that I never went through that phase that so many other kids went through, where Spider-Man seemed like the coolest thing in the world.  Even as a youngster, growing up in a very small town about forty minutes north of Toronto, when I walked down the street to the local convenience store with my allowance and bought a couple of comic books on a Saturday afternoon, there was zero chance that the guy dressed up in Superman's colors and calling himself a spider was going to get my money. As a child the only thing that made Spidey even remotely acceptable was that his terrible television cartoon had a catchy jingle that should qualify as one of the worst songs ever written for TV.  Singing it over and over is the perfect formula for grounding, social alienation and even divorce!

It remains Spider-Man's greatest accomplishment.

I remember the first time I vocalized my contempt for Puny Parker (thanks to Flash Thompson for that name) and got looks of confusion from so many of my friends in elementary school.  They all loved the guy, and nobody seemed to see in him what I saw in him almost right from the start; Peter Parker is a selfish, whiny loser with no social confidence and even less moral certainty. How that guys scores Mary Jane Watson is beyond me, because that girl is HOT!  Way out of his league.  She's more in a Bruce Wayne league, and trust me when I tell you that he doesn't slum with Peter Parker!

In any event, it starts with the guy's extra-lame origin.  One night when all of his pals (actually he didn't have any....Peter was, by design, an outcast and an orphan) were out getting burgers and shakes at the local hang-out (I'm picturing Arnold's from Happy Days!) our titular loser was at a science demonstration.  Let me repeat; he was hanging out in his free time at a science demonstration.  Doesn't he know that all the cool kids go to math conventions? Man, what a nerd!  Now, even at a young age I wasn't one of those meatheads who mock guys for being smart.  In fact in those formative years I was the smart kid.  Top of the class grades.  Still, I couldn't relate to a kid who wanted to spend his free time checking out "science."  I thought it was stupid, and in retrospect......I was right.  Who knew I was so wise as a kid?

So an irradiated spider bites Peter and he becomes wicked strong, sticks to walls, gains a sixth sense and awesome agility.  All of a spider's natural skills, magnified in the body of a teenage boy, right?  Wrong.  Spiders don't have a sixth sense.  If they did, they wouldn't get mashed and die every time I hammer one with a shoe.  Even as a youth I knew that they just made that power up, the filthy liars. He didn't get the ability to spin webs though (although that would have been cool) but he did develop that through his own brilliant mind.  Just a little question here folks......why the heck was he so poor if he was so smart?  Why didn't he ever have any good ideas and patent anything that would make him some cash BEFORE the spider bit him? I mean, it's not like he was out hanging out with friends in his spare time.

Anyways, I digress. I hate the guy's origin.  In my opinion it's weak and it will always be weak.  But let's say we push past that and get into the formative moments of his life.  Step one.....he takes up wrestling.  Excuse me?!?!  Nerdy, socially awkward Peter Parker takes up wrestling?  Bleh. I get the argument that he was caught up in his newfound powers, but wrestling?  It's so far outside the guy's established personality that it doesn't make any sense at all.  You know what, though? I'm a decent guy.  I can ignore that. So let's move on.....to the costume.  You've heard me say this before, and I'll say it again.  He's SPIDER man.  As in....looks like a spider?  Nope. I don't know any red and blue spiders.  The truth is that he stole his colors from Superman, and of that I have no doubt.  Heck, the hyphen in his name was put there so people wouldn't confuse him with Superman.

Confuse him with.....were they serious?  One guy is awesome and the other guy couldn't get a prom date! One guy was rocketed to Earth as the last survivor of a dying world, and the other guy got bit by a spider. One guy's arch-enemy is Lex Luthor (future president of the United States and founder of the most powerful multi-national in the world) and the other guy fights people named after insects and animals (Vulture, Doc Oc, Rhino, Lizard.) Who the heck thought anyone was going to confuse Spider-Man with Superman?  Seriously! But that little tidbit is a fact folks.  Look it up.

Anyways, the costume is stupid.  Red and blue for a guy based on a spider makes as much sense as yellow for Batman.  The mask I at least understand.  I'd be embarrassed if I ran around dressed like that too. Still, we ignore the retarded origin, and the weakness of the character himself.  We step clear of the leap to pro wrestling for money (really!?!?  Didn't he invent a fluid that hardens to the strength of steel?!??) and we get past the lame uniform, and we go right to the crux of who Peter Parker is.

He's a guy who had a chance to do the right thing.......and didn't.

The result was the death of his Uncle Ben, a kind old soul who's only shortcoming in life was letting his nephew turn into a nerd recluse who hangs out at science experiments.  Poor bastard died because of that little jerk!

Anyways, Ben's death is what leads us to Spider-Man.  Peter vows to use his new power to do right.  Just a little bit late, and more than a little bit motivated by guilt. Where is the heroic moment?  Where is the inspiration?  Where is the sacrifice?  Peter Parker was a self-absorbed prick who let a criminal saunter right past him, and only when that criminal hurt somebody he personally cared about was he moved to action.  There's nothing heroic about that, and in my opinion it is the fundamental flaw of the character.

He isn't heroic, he's guilty.

Plus, and this might seem a little too complex an analysis for some people, but just bear with me....

....the guy's a loser.

Here's hoping Aunt May slaps the taste out his mouth the next time he whines, too.

So, any questions?  Or can we get back to talking about other characters, who are much more deserving of our time and attention?  People like Batman, Thor and Jesse Custer.

#&^* Spider-Man!

Comic rage, JLA counterpoint, team books

[insert curse word here]

I'm going on my second month without a steady stream of comic books, and I have to tell you guys, it's killing me.  I could take the easy way out and just download a whole bunch of them, but the last two days have been magnificent and I've had some time on my hands when I could have been sitting on the back deck, in the fresh air, just casually enjoying my favorite pastime in the whole world. Now not only can I not do that until I see a certain friend of mine in Ohio, but I'm teetering on the edge of not placing an order for May's comic shipment (because I'm still trying to find some steady work.)

Blah!

I've been hammering my way through the tens upon tens of thousands of comics in my basement, trying to add some more runs to the list of contenders for The Ten. I got caught up a little bit with JLA recently, and spent some time pouring over that once-great series. I have a theory that Mark Waid's run shortly after The Tower of Babel, which is classic, entitled Terra Incognito was a not-so subtle jab at how stupidly Grant Morrison had the White Martians behave in the four part series that he used to reunite DC's big guns and relaunch its flagship team book. It isn't just the story either.  On more than one occasion there is commentary in the books about how much more powerful a handful of them are than the Justice League.  Maybe I'll get around to asking Mark about that one day, so he can do the politically correct thing and say that he was just giving his interpretation and that he has all the respect in the world for Grant.

Speaking of the JLA, should the big team books in Marvel and DC be comprised of their biggest and their best?  The argument falls pretty clearly into two camps.  Either you envision your Avengers with Captain America, Iron Man, Thor etc, or you picture your JLA with Blue Beetle, Booster Gold, Guy Gardner and Captain Marvel. I've heard both sides of the argument, including the fact that the big guns in both companies have their own books, where they are showcased month in and month out, and that the stage like Avengers should be used to give fans terrific writing about characters who otherwise don't have their own books.  I've even been told that super-teams take the fun out of the stories because they seem so daunting from the outset, and that it's hard editorially to keep everything lined up between the team book and all of the individual books.  They're all rational arguments.  All of them.

My Avengers still includes Cap.

There is, of course, that happy medium where one or two big guns are working on a team that includes one or two second tier talents who deserve the press time.  Cap, Iron Man, Hawkeye & Wasp make for a good Avengers team.  Just as long as Spider-Man isn't on it.  Or Wolverine.  Actually I find it funny that it took so long for somebody to finally put the X-Universe's biggest name in an Avengers book, and I find it sad that they finally gave in and put Spidey in one.  Obviously they were taking the JLA approach of "who are the biggest guns we have" and Spidey and Wolverine fall into that category in regard to their selling power. Makes sense.  After all, Wolverine is Canadian, and Spidey is.......well......a loser. He lost a fight to a guy named Dr. Octopus once, and once was enough.  LOSER.

It's like watching Guy Gardner in the JLA.  Painful.  Worst Green Lantern ever.  Worse than G'nort.

Speaking of Green Lantern, did Geoff Johns knock it out of the park with the concept for Final Night?  Admittedly when you're two months behind on new books you don't get to comment on how he finished it off, but coming up with the idea of a prophecy that was thousands of years old that foretold a war of light, and then introducing the other colors in the emotional spectrum?  Brilliant.  The guy can't spell his own name, but he can write.

Alright, I'm off to play some Diablo II.

It's an old school night.

Comics on tv

I watched the 1997 live action pilot for Justice League of America last night, and I now know why there isn't a JLA tv show. What I don't know is why there isn't a Global Frequency tv show. While we're on the topic of what I don't know, can somebody please explain to me who in Hollywood was willing to give some script writer money for that piece of garbage that they put together for JLA? The only decent thing about the league was the way they had Green Lantern's ring work, which was actually kind of cool.  Otherwise the whole thing was low budget, high school drama club.  Obviously they weren't given any of the A-list to include, so we didn't get a Superman or a Batman or a Wonder Woman, but I wasn't disappointed with the roster.  I was very disappointed with the writing though.  I can't even blame the actors, that's how bad it was.  Green Lantern (Guy Gardner), Flash and Fire were all completely misrepresented as characters, and The Martian Manhunter looked like a special effect that somebody made in their basement.

Why can't I get a job writing for Hollywood again?

Even I could do better than that crap.

I also got myself a copy of the Birds of Prey series, but I haven't started watching any of it.  I'm hoping it doesn't come anywhere near the corniness of JLA, and treads a little more gently on the mythos of the comics. I'll let you know when I've seen some.  Speaking of comic related television, which in case you haven't caught on yet is exactly what I'm doing today, I've been watching season 1 of Jeremiah, by comic writer of fame J. Michael Straczynski.  Luke Perry is well cast as a bit of a tough, rough around the edges guy with a heart of gold, and an annoyingly whiney voice, while I really like Theo Huxtable in this show. The overall premise seems pretty solid, an so far the episodes haven't become completely formulaic, with some continuity flowing from show to show. It's an alright way to kill some time at night.

After the conversation we had recently about movies that will never get made, I've spent some time reflecting on the difference between movies and television and I think that if television ever got the ball rolling properly they could just dominate the comic book genre.  The format is so well suited to replicate the monthly, episodic basis of most successful comic books.  It used to be that there was a financial reason for not doing it, but Heroes survives without running its budget out of control.  Do we really need any more than they can give us on that show? Hell Parkman's telepathy is effective and simple to demonstrate.  Anyways, the other argument has always been that not enough people would watch.  Again I say; HEROES.

What people won't watch is bad tv.

Knock out the corny approach and get rid of the cheese.  Take a serious look at some of the best story-telling comics ever and you could have yourself an substantial winner.  Y The Last Man would work wonders, as would DMZ or Global Frequency, and I can't tell you how much I would like to see 1 season of Planetary.

Maybe one day soon we'll be lucky enough to see some network exec figure it out.

Just not the guy who gave a green light to the JLA script.

That guy should never work again.

Movies I doubt they're going to make.

Production Hell.

Two words that seem to be associated with all of the movies I desperately want to see Hollywood get off their retarded buts and make.  For whatever reason the comic book movies that are being made are typically the b-grade ones and the front-line, A-list super-hero ones.  What about the front-line, A-list ones that don't fit into the target demographic that Hollywood so wrongly thinks it understands?  Where will our next 300 or Watchmen come from?  And will they have the stones to actually get it right, unlike the abysmal failure of V For Vendetta?

These days when you troll through the updates over at the revamped (and I can't say I like the new format) Comic Book Movies, you'll see all kinds of news that you can get geeked about.  Thor is coming.  If they allow the script to be written by an even half-way decent person who understand who Thor is and what the magic is that makes him such an exceptional comic figure, it's going to be terrific.  Spider-Man is being reset.  Will the new wave of his films be able to surpass the Toby Maguire era? Fantastic Four is coming back, with promises to completely overhaul it.  Can they finally get it right and introduce us to the world's greatest family the right way? How will Warner Brothers follow The Dark Knight?  Do they have the stones to actually do The Dark Knight Returns (No!) and shock the world with its visionary understanding of the end game for Bruce Wayne? Can Green Lantern deliver on the hype, and can they make Ryan Reynolds believable as Hal Jordan (my guess is no.) Most importantly.....when will we see The Flash?

These are the questions that we can bat around and ultimately find answers for, because these are the movies that Hollywood around going to make sooner than later.  Today though, I think we should throw around the names of the best stories we know they're never going to make (or in some cases they're never going to make WELL.)

Preacher
I'm going straight to the top of the list for this one, because it's been rumored for so long, and has had so many names attached to it.  The movie always seems to be in some kind of production hell, and really, how do you do this thing unless you're prepared to make at least 4 movies? From way back when James Marsden signed on to play Custer, right through conversation suggesting that it may turn out to be an HBO series instead of a movie, we have been sitting on pins and needles waiting for this one to finally come along.  Sadly, I think we may end up waiting forever.

Alpha Flight
Yes, I said Alpha Flight.  With all due respect to my American readers, I'm more than a little bit tired of Hollywood's assumption that super-hero movies where the main character/main story aren't American at heart will lead to failure.  I was annoyed when they turned John Constantine into an American and stole the charm of the British occultist from the silver screen, only to replace him with a pale imitation played by Neo. Why do I think Alpha Flight, Canada's super-team can make a great big-screen movie when the book is constantly getting canceled? Well to start with, there is that guy who sells more than any hero you can think of, who happened to be on the very first incarnation of Alpha Flight.  What was his name?  Oh yeah, Wolverine. Add to that Puck (a bad-ass dwarf in the movie?  Who doesn't want to see that?) and Shaman and the rest of the ensemble heroes and you have a visually incredible story with less histrionics than you get in an X-Men movie and more creative freedom for the script writers.  Dead in the water because nobody understands how great this could be.

Sandman
Simple, the concept is too big. Nobody will know what story to tell, and nobody will have the stones to go after it. I think the best bet for this is an HBO show not unlike the Twilight Zone, with independent episodes held together by the common theme of Morpheus.  If you had to do the movie, which story would you tell? How do you choose? The Doll's House? A Season of Mists? Dream Country? Doesn't matter, because you'll never see this one made, and if you do, it won't be done well.  Hollywood doesn't understand comics that are smart, which explains why they didn't think 300 would be big.

Batman - The Cult
You know how I know this one won't ever get made?  Because it's perfectly designed to be a Batman movie. Everything about this four issue series cries out that it's a movie and it fits into the mold of a stand-alone glimpse into the Dark Knight's never ending battle.  Instead we'll get another movie where they drag out two or three villains for him to face down, in a constructed story that feels forced and pointless.  Because, you know, that sells.

Superman
Wait!  I know they've already made a whole bunch of these.  I should have said "A Superman movie worth seeing." Not going to happen, because the best they could deliver after a decades long wait was a movie that might as well have been made twenty years ago.  Kryptonite, Luther, and Lois in distress.  Wow.  Even Smallville has thought deeper than that script.

Midnight Nation
12 issues of comic genius, and a story with a moral to it.  Religious themes, and a story so many people would be able to relate to.  So why is there no talk of getting this done?  I cannot stress how good this series is nearly well enough to do it justice, and a well done movie would be epic.  Bigger (I think) than The Watchmen as a movie (which was bigger as a comic.)

Days Of Future Past
THIS is the X-Men movie they should have made. Claremont, Byrne and Austin did in 2 issues what writers ever since have been trying to do in hundreds; they created a seminal moment in the X-Universe that is never forgotten. What would you give for a movie that opens in a terrible future where almost all of the heroes are dead?  Watching the remnants of the X-Men and the Avengers battle one last time to save hope, and humanity (from itself and its prejudice) of course.  Then have the story naturally fold back to the present where they set out to change the future and stop it from ever happening?  That's a movie script that is perfect in concept, and yet we get stuck with the crap they've been feeding us.  And yes, Wolverine was terrible; largely because it was stupid.

Planetary
You need 3 movies and they would all need to be extra long.  Unless you get James Cameron interested, I don't know how you do it justice. This is one of those series that smart people love, which is the perfect explanation for why Hollywood isn't all over it.

Okay, I missed a lot of good stories that will never see the silver screen. Which ones are your favorites, and what makes you think there's no chance it will be made? 
  
Cam, before you said it......what about Crossed?  Zombie flicks always seem to have a voice!
























 

World War One like you've never seen it before

My original plan was to spend some time in this entry talking about the critically acclaimed Mightnight Nation series by J. Michael Straczynski, which is deep with religious theme and really a fascinating read. I was going to follow it up by digging into a couple of other series he's done that will also be making an appearance in our exploration of the Top 10 Comic Stories Of All Time (henceforth know as The 10.) While I've been away (yes I admit that time is tighter that I expected and I'm not exactly hitting a one-a-day pace, so sue me!) I have been rereading some of my less traditional comic books to get my head around what stands out and which of them are worthy of consideration.  Last night's read has bumped Midnight Nation from the conversation piece for today.

ARROWSMITH

Picture if you will the first World War, fought by mages, trolls and vampires with ordinary men as their staunch allies. If you thought war was a terrible, horrible thing in the real world, you can scarcely imagine the horrors that the fantasy world can unleash when nations clash.

For six issues we are thrown into the world of Fletcher Arrowsmith, a young man from the United States who runs away from home against his father's wishes (a brief scene in the first issue which really sets the tension for the entire story) and joins up with the Overseas Aero Corps, the fantasy realm's version of pilots; flying men engaged in the seemingly elegant combat of the skies. 

Two reasons you need to read this series.

1. Its a good FANTASY series. There aren't enough good fantasy series being done in comic books.  For some reason the natural synergy between the two worlds doesn't seem to translate as you might think that it should. Often efforts to launch and maintain fantasy comic books are met with lackluster sales numbers and early cancellations, depriving fans of the medium and the genre of the beauty often created when they do come together.  Can you imagine Alex Ross doing a Tolkien adaptation? Just seeing Pacheco do the art for the Battle of Helms Deep would be awe inspiring.  Original works would be even more inspired I think.  This is good, creative and original fantasy and it should be read and appreciated.

2. Its a good WAR series. Other bloggers have suggested that there is an inherent beauty in war that detracts from an author's (or director's) ability to truly strike you with the tragedy and horror of it.  I disagree.  True it is easy to become lost in the gorgeous artwork that Pacheco presents in this book, often in its most horrific moments, but there is a tone to this story that you have to be willfully ignoring in order to miss.Like any great war story, it even reflects that ultimately it doesn't matter who is right and who is wrong, because war feeds upon itself and grows until everyone believes they are fighting for the right reasons, and nobody is willing to back down.  That is the horror of war; that right and wrong become irrelevant. In war, few are the people who may take the moral high ground, and that is clearly and brutally depicted in this series, to the heartfelt pain of the protagonist. There are no delusions about the war put forth by this book, and that realism doesn't often surface in fantasy stories where right and wrong are so clearly imagined.  It makes this story resonate more deeply I think.
 
A long rumored sequel to this series has never come forth, but I can always hope. Arrowsmith deserves to be read, and will be discussed at length in consideration for The 10.

Maybe one day soon we will even see another fantasy epic unveiled in the medium, which ultimately would be a true victory for the greats that have come before (big props to Conan on that front!) I know as a reader of fantasy that I would love to see it.
 

The 2nd species of man

You won't often hear me talking about artists on this blog.  It's just not the way that I look at comics, although I do often admire specific artwork above and beyond that of other artists.  The truth is that I'm almost always much more influenced by the quality of the writing and that drives my position on most comic reviews that I give. I am not immune to the effects of a talented artist on a series, and their ability to do more in the panels than their peers, in that way advancing the story effectively and making it better.  It just isn't what I tend to critique and reflect on. Like every rule though, there are exceptions.

Gary Frank

The exception of the day is Gary Frank, who I met while he was working with Peter David on The Incredible Hulk and whose work has shown up in some of my favorite stories.  He is widely recognized for his work on Action Comics, The Avengers and Gen13, but I think my favorite is Midnight Nation.  It helps that it is going to be a strong contender for the Top 10 list that I'm slowly sorting through material to put together. Today though I don't want to talk about the brilliance of Midnight Nation, or his work with Geoff Johns on Superman, or even his forthcoming work on Batman Earth One.  I want to talk about a little six issue series he did on his own and had published by Top Cow back in 2000.

I doubt you've heard of it.
 
In Kin, Frank shows us six issues that leave me intrigued for more.  In a very short span of time he posits an exceptional idea for a story and draws me into a world that I want to spend more time in. Unfortunately we only ever get six issues and in my opinion we're left wanting more.  I get the whole 'leave them wanting more' mantra, but this time it seems like we're left hanging because the first arc is done and sales didn't justify him doing another one.  If that's the case, it's a terrible shame.  If he actually always planned to leave us hanging like this, then he's a jerk!

So what's the hook? That's the question right?  Why do you like the premise Jeff?  What is it about the man's six issues that made you sit up and take notice? Well, to start with he begins the idea rooted in scientific research, before deviating just enough to create a sensational idea that while fiction, is just close enough to possible that we remain engaged by it.

Raise your hand if you knew that a long, LONG time ago there were two species of man? Well maybe not man, exactly.  It all depends on which scientist you believe.  Some classify the second as a subspecies of our own (Homo sapiens neanderthalensis) while others classify it as a separate species (Homo neanderthalensis).

Neanderthal Man.

In the end though, the point remains that at some point in history, two species competed for the same resources.  Obviously we know which one dominated and ultimately won that competition, because.....well.....here we are. Some people believe that they crossbred with us until our genes dominated and they faded out, while others believe that they simply became extinct.

Gary asks a very simple question; what if our scientists are wrong?

In Kin he takes us into a world where a secret agency has discovered that Neanderthals did not interbreed with homo sapiens, and they did not go extinct.  They developed and grew along a very different social and technological basis, vanishing into the very corners of the world where we found it too inhospitable to follow and there they survived, building a society vastly different from our own.  He then reminds us that Neanderthals had larger brain cavities than homo sapiens did, and we start to see how they vanished and were never uncovered.

Kin only introduces us to one of their kind, and we watch as he struggles with two humans who empathize with his plight, as this secret agency attempts to force their way into his world.  In the end we are left feeling very much like our own warlike nature will ultimately wipe this culture from the earth, but I don't feel like we get any real closure on his story.

Despite that, I do really enjoy this book.  It's fresh and different, and presents an intriguing plot.

Hiding in plain sight.

Onslaught.

It all began with that one (terrible) decision by Marvel to run with a story in which the malignancy of anger and hate inside of Magneto's mind corrupts Charles Xavier and leads to the birth of the most potent and deadly villain ever; Onslaught. The fallout of this story was that Earth's Mightiest Heroes were lost (actually in most cases they were taken away from competent, talented writing teams and handed over to the Image founders to butcher and devalue for an entire year.)

But from even the worst ideas we sometimes glean inspiration for the best of ideas.

Enter The Thunderbolts.

With The Avengers, Captain America, The Fantastic Four and Iron Man all shunted into another universe by the awesome power of Franklin Richards there was a power vacuum in the Marvel Universe in desperate need of filling, and Kurt Busiek (who will always get a great deal of love on this blog) and Mark Bagley did exactly that when they introduced a new team called The Thunderbolts.  The team debuted in the pages of The Incredible Hulk, being written at that time by the greatest Hulk writer of them all (Peter David) and then later were launched as their own book.

It was the conclusion of that first issue which opened my eyes to the genius of the series concept and the brilliance of Kurt Busiek (once again!) The final panel of Issue #1 of Thunderbolts revealed that the newest super heroes of the Marvel Universe were, in fact.......The Masters Of Evil!! One of the most dangerous teams to ever square off against The Avengers, this plot twist represented one of the most impressive concept launches in the history of comic books, as we discover the true meaning of hiding in plain sight.

The series quickly became a fan favorite as it charted the nature of heroism and watched the eventual reformation of many of the Masters of Evil into genuine heroes. Kusiek wrote the series for thrity-four wonderful issues, and was replaced by Fabian Nicieza when he left.  The series continued its strong run, though as it approached issue #75, Marvel EiC Joe Quesada came up with a "brilliant" idea and almost killed the series forever.  Somebody get this guy away from Marvel's helm.  NOW.

After much tumultuousness and the series cancellation, some storylines came together which brought The 'Bolts back into being, although radically different and with new leadership. This second era of the 'Bolts was highlighted by the run of Warren Ellis, who came on board for the better part of a year and did the story from a very dark place.  With the fallout of the Civil War, his Thuunderbolts were criminals acting under the government's control to hunt down unregistered super humans.  It was a terrific, dark reflection of the power that political agendas can bring to bear on the world.

The book is now in the hands of Andy Diggle, and while it is no longer the book that Kurt created, it continues to be a series of interest for me because of the constant questions that seem to arise.  A new Black Widow leader Norman Osborne's Thunderbolts?  Maybe not.  An enigmatic Ghost who seems at cross purposes with Osborne? Doc Samson framed for trying to kill the President? Nick Fury responsible for the infiltration of the 'Bolts?

This book still has legs in my mind, and while it isn't yet back to the level of the story it was launched as, I'm not read to bury it.  This one may not be the greatest series being written right now, but it is an overlooked gem in the Marvel line-up and it's hiding in plain sight.

Something that I do really like these days.

We've talked about a lot of non-hero comics and writers who don't fit into the mold of traditional super-hero writers, but I think I should make something clear.

I LIKE super heroes.

In fact, one of the things that I like so much about DC (most people accuse me of being much more vested in DC than in Marvel) is that it has such a rich and fleshed out history. I've commented on a number of occasions in this blog about my admiration for the big guns of the Justice League, but today I spent some time remembering why it is that the Justice League means so much; it's a legacy.

I'm going to run a little bit off track here and talk about the time I spent (while sick) lying on my couch watching Absolute Justice.  For those of you who don't watch Smallville, the last couple of seasons have been full of introductions of characters from the DCU.  We've met Cyborg (Teen Titan), Impulse (also a Titan), Aquaman (JLA), Black Canary (JLA), The Martian Manhunter (JLA), Zatanna (JLA), Green Arrow (JLA) and members of the Legion of Super-Heroes (a personal favorite of mine.) I've probably even forgotten a couple of the characters we've been introduced to.

In Absolute Justice though, the writers remind us of the rich history of DC.  They take us back to the fifties (in this it smacks a little bit more like the eighties) and remind us that there were masked mystery men long before our merry band of heroes start to come out of the shadows to stand beside Clark Kent.  In Absolute Justice they tell the story of the Justice Society of America, and their fall from grace in America.  It isn't the same story that is used in comics, but then not much of what takes place on Smallville is.

What I liked:

Hawkman - Not necessarily the actor, and certainly not the effects they used to make him fly, but rather that they used him instead of Hawkgirl. It bugs the piss out of me that he was passed over in favor of Shayera in the animated series.I know, its the modern day and they have to give some spots to everyone, but Hawkman is iconic.

Nabu - In this tale they make it clear that Kent Nelson is driven mad by the voices and visions granted him by the powerful mystic relic The Helm of Nabu. While that weakens the Nelson character of JSA fame, it fits the story they're telling magnificently and is a perfectly reasonable explanation for his absence all these years. What is more, the Helm is very well down.  In a show where so many of the costumes and effects were poor enough that they could have been a part of the Adam West Batman show, the Helm itself is excellent. One day maybe they'll figure out how to make costumes look less.....I don't know.....fake. I also like the way in which they show Fate's magic.  Simple yet effective.

J'ohnn J'onzz - The guy they picked for this role is perfect.  I really like the casting.  I did find the use of a green shirt and a series of criss crossing red gun holsters cheesy, but lots of things about this episode were cheesy.

Checkmate - If you don't follow DC closely, you have no clue who Checkmate are.  That's fine.  All you need to understand is that they are a covert operation under the auspices of the United Nations Security Council (although in the series I assume they will be completely American.) We meet Amanda Waller who reveals that she works for Checkmate, and we also get our first reference to the Suicide Squad.  Its an 'in the know' moment for comic fans that would be worthless to non-comic fans.  It was a fun touch.

DCU History - Assuming you can set aside the enormous amount of cheese this episode is served with, the writing of a backstory into the universe of Smallville is tremendous and long overdue. Soon enough Tom Welling will get tired of doing this show and move on.  A backstory and fleshing out the DC world will open doors for other series which have a chance to surpass Smallville in their scope and impact.  That said, hearing the names of men like Wildcast, Green Lantern, Flash, Hawkman and yes, even The Star Spangled Kid was fun.  It pulled at my sense of nostalgia for the legacy that exists in the DCU. Would I have preferred to see Green Lantern in action?  Or to watch Jay Garrick run?  Or see The Spectre (whom they don't speak of, but they do show in the painting of the JSA hanging in the brownstone?)  Sure.  But this taste was engaging enough, and it opens a lot of doors that they can use in the future if they want to.  It was corny and cheesy and yet at moments it was awesome.  The scene where Clark peels back the drop sheets and reveals the showcases and meeting table of the JSA was terrific.  Even seeing Hawkman's gear (before he put it on and it got lame) was cool.

What I didn't like:

The Cheese - Too much of it.  Was it really necessary?  Is writing for television really still that weak?  Is the only way to explain backstory or try and solicit a response from the audience to go with cheese? Very disappointing.

Amanda Waller - She wasn't fat enough.  Seriously.  Waller is a big, fat woman.  In this she's just big boned. I also didn't like her.  She didn't seem tough enough.  Waller once tried to stand down Batman.  The woman's hardcore.

Tess Mercer - She works for Checkmate?  I don't think so.  Checkmate would never have let her unleash Zod on Earth.  This is a revisionist moment, and it stinks.

The Cosmic Rod - Starman is one of my faves.  So having the Cosmic Rod in the hands of the Star Spangled Kid, and never once referencing Starman bugged me.  I'm sure there's a reason for that, but I didn't like it.  Also, they didn't show any of the rod's wicked power.  It was kind of lame actually.

The Villain - Fate killed by The Icicle (or his son.) Really?  Ummmmm......raise your hand if you know that Fate is a Lord of Order. True, he's tempered by the broken mind of the human host, but come on.  An Ice spear kills him?

I would like to use a VETO.

In any event, this is what I often find missing from my time with Marvel books.  I don't feel like there is a real legacy to be admired and a generational story taking place.  Sure, Cap fought in World War II with the Invaders, but they are such an afterthought to the Marvel Universe that they might not even exist. And yes, there are a couple of future teams that exist.  But as a whole I feel like that universe lacks the sense of historic depth that DC offers me (in great stories no less) on a regular basis.

Invisible Jets, the first real EVENT series, and 15 years without a Supergirl

I was asked recently by a reader of this blog why Wonder Woman has an Invisible Jet if she can fly.

The answer is that she could not always fly.  As happens with so many characters as time goes by, writers (usually under the direction or in collaboration with their editors) update and revamp characters in order to help them fit in more effectively in the modern comic world. Despite being one of the 'trinity' that makes DC Comics such a powerhouse, Wonder Woman has not been excluded from this process.  Under her original design, she did indeed require her Invisible Jet to get around.  Later she developed the ability to ride air currents, although that didn't help her fly, but rather float short controlled distances.  Flight didn't get added to her list of powers until the eighties, when she was revamped as a result of Crisis On Infinite Earths.  After that, the struggle became explaining why she had the jet.

Better question: How does she find it?

Now, that got me thinking about Crisis.

Crisis On Infinite Earths was, for me, the first truly epic story arc. It was the first time in my life that I read a company spanning story which would forever change the characters that I dearly knew and loved.  It was born out of an effort to clean up a very muddled and convoluted series of histories and rewrites, and in the end I really felt like they had not only accomplished that, but that they had advanced some major changes into the DCU.  Barry Allen, which you will recognize as the ONE TRUE FLASH, died to save the Universe. Supergirl also was killed in the battle with the Anti-Monitor.  Even the golden age Superman left the universe for good.

Since then, writers have introduced a couple of versions of each of the departed characters, attempting to fill the void left behind by the loss of Kara Zor-El and Barry Allen.  Barry's came first, since he had a natural successor already lined up.  Wally West stepped out of the Teen Titans and took on his mentor's role as The Flash.  His series was good until about Issue #62, which is when it became GREAT.  The next eight years of that book defined Wally West and redefined The Flash's preeminent role in DC.

Supergirl's return wasn't nearly as smooth, because editors at DC had decided that Superman was to be the only surviving Kryptonian.  It took some time, but Supergirl did eventually find her way back into the DCU, only when she appeared she wasn't a Kryptonian. In fact she was a man-made life form known as Matrix, who assumed the guise of Supergirl.In 1996 a new Supergirl series was launched by Peter David (a darn good writer) and another revamp took place, with Matrix being merged with a human girl to create an all new Supergirl. In this version of her revamp, Supergirl was actually described as an Earth-born Angel, and many of the elements that David used in the story would later show up in his creator owned series Fallen Angel. The series eventually went to cancellation, leaving the DCU without a Supergirl once more.

Until 2004 when we the rules changed and we once more met Kara Zor-El. For 18 years there was no "real" Supergirl in DC.  Did that take guts, making the call to kill off the character and stay away from her real identity in any revamps?  Or was it weakness not to have the stones to bring her back sooner?  I'm not sure where I come out on this one, but I will say this; at least the deaths in Crisis weren't undone in less than a year (*cough*Bendis killing Hawkeye*cough*!)

And isn't that all you really want in the end?

To read EPIC events that actually have EPIC fallout?

What's with the spandex?

I get Superman.

I just thought I should get that out of the way before we begin.  I mean, he's Superman. He flies around wearing a big, bright suit and as a result he inspires people to do better.  To be better. Maybe I can even understand the situation for Captain America, who is a designated national symbol.

But everybody else?

Why do the Fantastic Four, who are essentially an adventuring family, wear matching uniforms?  Why don't people laugh at them and make fun of them? I mean aside from the whole, that guy turns into fire and if you piss him off... My point is that despite the idea that super-heroes were created in an era when we could only envision them as gaudily clad mystery men and women, why haven't we evolved?  As writers, and artists, why haven't we figured out that running around in what loosely passes for a Halloween costume is infantile and a desperate cry for attention?

Is it simply tradition?

If that's the answer, then what was Bendis' excuse when he brought together Marvel's Ultimate line, in which they reinvented marvel with a crisper, more modern interpretation of everyone's origin story? Did Spider-Man really need to dress up as a red and blue (seriously?!?! what spider is red and blue?) spider in order to fulfill his potential?  With great power comes great responsibility, but apparently no sense of discretion or style. Batman would make more sense without a uniform  as well.  The idea that he shows up and instantly people are like 'Oh, crap!  It's Batman' is a little bit scary.  The idea that he is a master of disguise and he could be anyone, at any time?  That is waaaaaay scarier.  A man in his line of work would be best served with a more clandestine approach to combating crime, as the mythology he creates is almost as effective as his actual presence. So why then does he wear tights (and yes, I know they aren't actually spandex, but I think you're missing the point.)

Green Arrow and Hawkeye are both superior marksmen.  What's with the bows, and why the Robin Hood complex?  Ignore for a moment that Ollie is way cooler than Clint, and set aside the rejoicing you did when Bendis first killed Hawkeye (a moment he 'corrected' much to my disappointment) and just consider for a moment who these guys are. We see Arrow standing on a room overlooking an alley in Star City, but do we ever ask, 'how the hell did he get on that roof without somebody asking why he was dressed like an idiot?' Wouldn't it be easier for him to go everywhere incognito and carry some form of weapon that he could use to greater effectiveness than a bow? How that guy ever ended up in the JLA is beyond me.  And Hawkeye as an Avenger?  Please.  Next thing you know they'll have some guy who can shrink and talk to ants.

I'll give Wonder Woman a pass for her costume, because she's the hottest woman alive. Same goes for any of the Asgardians, because they are culturally motivated. But not the X-Men. Their presence has served only to fuel the very fires of racism that they are struggling to extinguish, and every time they act overtly, it tends to backfire.  Their field leader (normally Cyclops) is clearly a slow learner who took fifteen years to get out of Grade ten english, if he hasn't figure that out by now.  Maybe less overt action would equal less mass hysteria and hatred of the X-Men?  Just a thought.  Spandex only draws attention, and isn't the whole point to save lives?  Does that require that you make sure all eyes are on you?

Heroes at least have some defenses to this.  They're heroes.  They wear a uniform as a means of being identified by the public, and giving them something to look up to.  What defense do villains have?

Victor Von Doom is the ruler of a sovereign nation. Do you think maybe he can afford a nice custom tailored business suit for his next trip to the U.N.?  I think walking into the room dressed in the attire of a killing machine is probably not appropriate. Also, how do the b-grade villains like Bane (who is in a downward spiral that I don't understand in terms of his status) or Whiplash (really?  As the second Iron Man movie's villain?  WRONG CHOICE!) even consider walking around in ridiculous costumes?  When Whiplash walks into a bank in an effort to rob it, wouldn't it be smarter to slip in discreetly?  Kind of hard to do when you wear a costume.

Plus these guys have all been arrested.  They have no secret identity to protect, so why the ornate regalia? I feel like every villain should almost certainly fail an IQ test.

Question 1:

You are intending to break into the United Nations and hold its members hostage.  In order to gain entry without alerting a superior power like, say, Thor, do you:

a) Arrive at the main entrance in full costumed splendor and announce your presence like a raging idiot?
b) Unnecessarily harm security guards who are no threat to you, just to prove your machismo, before waiting for Thor to show up and make you look like his girlfriend Nancy?
c) Decide that you're tired of always getting your ass kicked, and go in civvies today.  Gain entry to the building using expensive but effective false identification, and carefully position yourself to take everyone by surprise, thereby increasing the chances of your success by three thousand percent?

I feel like no villain has ever chosen c), and none of them ever will.

Ultimately, I know I'm going on about something that isn't going to change.  We're never going to see a comic series by Marvel about a group of six super-powered mutants who go out for a nice dinner on the town, and when they stumble on a villain realize that they didn't bring any spandex with them. Somehow nobody leaves home without it.  Don't they get hot running around with spandex under their clothes?  Doesn't it put a crimp on any impromptu romantic interludes?

"Hey, you're hot!"

"Sorry beautiful, not tonight.  I'm wearing spandex."

And on that note...........I'm out.

Which books have I forgotten?

I decided that one of the forgotten places to look for series that need to be included in our discussion of best comic series ever is my box of autographed comics (all waiting for their turn to take a rotation spot in my glass display cases or on the wall in my basement!)

Here are some terrific things I found:

1. Barry Allen: The Life Story of The Flash
2. Crimson
3. Next Men & 2112
4. Marvels
5. Mutant X

Barry Allen: The Life Story Of The Flash
If ever you needed a primer in The Flash, this is the book you would start with.  It begins, pretty much, at the beginning and talks about the life and times of Barry Allen, who for those of you who don't know, is the one true Flash.  I'm not knocking Wally West, who really grew into the role and certainly took a quantum leap forward because he was written by Mark Waid and Geoff Johns.  His issues were some of the greatest Flash issues I've ever read.  But history just has to mean something, and in the case of the lineage of The Flash, it means that Barry Allen is THE man. The book, at the time it was written, gave us an intricate look into Barry's history and taunted us with the idea that there were more stories to come.  Then, just this past year, he ran back out of the speed force during Final Crisis. This is an excellent blend of prose and comics.

Crimson
Before the world of tweens went nuts for Vampires who glitter in the sun, Brian Augustyn and Humberto Ramos did two years of a series about a young teen bitten by a Vampire and saved by a seemingly immortal survivor of the race God created before mankind. Alex Elder is the Chosen One, according to Ekimus, and his role will save all of humanity. This is an interesting and fun glimpse into the crossing of the horror genre with many elements of Judeo-Christian beliefs tied into it. Over the course of the series we find out about races we never knew existed, and we see the day that Dragons return to claim the earth, and through it all Ekimus shepherds Alex towards his destiny. It's a good fun read, and for me was a very original story.

Next Men & 2112
2112 is the graphic novel that serves as a prequel to John Byrne's exceptional spin on mutants from Dark Horse Comics. After 2112 sets the stage, and lets us know what we're dealing with, we step into Next Men and come face to face with a government conspiracy to create super soldiers in a contained environment.  Imagine that one day your friends simply faded out of existence, and then a moment later your entire perception of reality changed when you woke up to find them standing over you, complete with a cybernetic suit that keeps you all in a state of unconsciousness while your minds remain stimulated and active in a virtual reality.  Set loose in the real world, what would you do?  Would you save the world......or doom it? These questions barely scratch the surface of what John did on this book before low sales and finances put an end to it.  A terrific read.

Marvels 
Before there was Astro City or Kingdome Come, Kurt Busiek and Alex Ross teamed up to give us this beautiful four issue series that examines the emergence of the super-humans into the Marvel Universe from the eyes of an ordinary person named Phil Sheldon. It is the change of perspective which makes this a truly interesting and unique project that everyone should really get a look at at least once. Too often in comics it becomes difficult to consider or even think about the impact that super humans have on the world around them in a real sense.  Marvels does that, and it happens at some of the most famous moments in Marvel history.  Truly fantastic.

Mutant X
Long before the television show rights lead them to cancel this series it had started to lose some of its steam for me.  But at its inception, I was engaged and intrigued by the idea of Alex Summers waking up on a parallel world where he leads The Six.  Everything about the world seems wrong though, including the methods of his teammates.  In truth he is on a world where Reed Richards and Nick Fury are the villains and Doctor Doom and Apocalypse are the heroes. Howard Mackie crafts an interesting 'alternate universe' story with this premise and takes us on some unexpected twists and turns as he steers us towards the series ultimate conclusion.  As I said, by the time the book finished it had become heavy with time traveling, alternate world interference in the story and omnipotent powers that had to be dealt with.  It got tired and formulaic by the end, but in the beginning, it was fun to read a different version of world history, and what the X-Men might have looked like.  Probably doesn't make the top 10 debate, but it deserves a look.

Rewriting, Missing Comics, A Basement Full Of Comic Boxes & The Pride Of Baghdad

*sigh*

Nothing is more frustrating than writing something out, and clicking the 'publish' button, only to have the system advise you that the post has not been uploaded, but has in fact been lost.

Let's try this again...

This weekend I had a visit from a friend who now resides in Ohio.  On Friday night we had a terrific steak (slightly overcooked.....my fault I admit) and some garlic mashed potatoes before inviting another friend over to join us (as well as one of my sons) for an evening of cards and a couple adult beverages. My friend decided to stay the night, before getting up late in the morning to prepare himself for a day at his mother's for her 65th birthday (Happy Birthday mom!) Just as he was heading out the door, I recalled that there was something I really had been meaning to ask him.

Did you bring my comics with you?

My comic orders are shipped to Ohio because it costs too much to have them shipped to Canada, and then Jason brings them with him when he comes up for work or for visit (in the summer I'll retrieve them myself! Road trips...) Unfortunately, the answer this time was 'no.' Jason had put the comic box on the floor by his bed, with the thinking being that he would have to trip on them in order to leave the room, and would be unable to forget them.  Turns out he was wrong about that last part.

Do I have to tell anyone how disappointing it is to think that you're about to see your first batch of new comic books in over thirty days, and then find out that it isn't going to happen?

The situation did lead me to spend some time carving through the racks and racks of comic boxes that are organized in my basement.  Normally I only get into the racks when I am going to spend some time in a car on a road trip, or I'm traveling and not expecting to be out on the town at night while I'm doing business in some lame city (like Sault Ste Marie.) The need to find something to read in the absence of new books though drove me to do it and I'm kind of glad that I did.

I never fail to stumble across something that I haven't read in a good long time, and yet my memories of it always seem to be that it is one of my favorite tales. This time was no different and I think I've uncovered a couple of gems that will be in consideration for the Top 10 list I'm going to be compiling as I work my way through the collection and draw out my favorite stories of all time.

This time I quickly came across The Pride Of Baghdad, a graphic novel penned by Ohio's own Brian K Vaughan (of fame for Ex-Machina and Y: The Last man, both of which I enjoyed.) The novel is unique, in my opinion, because it is loosely based on real events that took place during the American invasion of Baghdad, and is told completely from the perspective of a pride of lions which escaped from the zoo during the bombing of the city.  There is some very engaging about the way in which the story is told, and as always I love to read things which seem to have their own unique place in storytelling.

Have any of you read it?  

Who is The Griffin, and why V For Vendetta is better than Watchmen!

I don't think I unveiled anything yesterday that would have opened anyone's eyes to an unknown series.  Today will be largely more of the same, as the authors of these series are widely recognized and lauded for their works on a regular basis.  Still, I think I may have one or two things in here that don't show up on everyone else's standard reading list.  Let's find out.

The Authority - Issues #1 - #12
The entire first year of the original Authority arc was magnificent, although if you pressed me to narrow it down I would probably identify the very first story arc as my favorite.  What Ellis and Hitch do on this is paint us a picture of a pragmatic team of the highest powers who set out to make the world a better place, and nations and governments be damned. As you can imagine, not everyone sees their actions as 'right', but then there are always people who are wrong.  How else could I possibly have as many arguments as I do? The Authority draws a line in the sand and simply says 'no more.' They don't negotiate, and they don't capitulate, and they really, really don't bargain with terrorists. It wasn't the first time we have seen an authoritarian super human solution, but this might be the best we've ever seen it.  Plus, Superman and Batman archetypes that are homosexual, just to make sure that Ellis rocks the boat.  Genius.

Batman: The Dark Knight Returns - Issues #1 - 4
I know.  Not a surprise to anyone, and everyone has already read it. Frank Miller's mid-eighties classic that broke new ground in viewing Batman as a soldier in a war that would never end. The grim, gritty vision of the future was magnificent from the very start, and may be the greatest Batman story ever told. Miller's artwork seems to fit right into the image he is painting of a world that is on the verge of war, and the city that represents the world's fight in a microcosm. Not good enough?  How about Miller's ground breaking revelation that Superman and Batman didn't like each other? No.  That's not fair.  Superman tries his best to like everyone.  It is Bruce who doesn't like Clark, and resents his wasting his power. Their confrontation is only one of the pinnacle confrontations that tale place in this series.  A must read.

Sandman - Issues #21 - 28
A Season of Mists. For many people there are bigger or more impressive stories written by Neil Gaiman regarding the Vertigo character that really put that imprint on the map.  Neil's work was awe inspiring throughout the run, and Sandman is a series that could have been measured as a whole, in much the same way that I chose to measure Starman and Platenary. For me though, this tale about Lucifer's choice to abdicate the throne of hell was part of a young spiritual awakening that changed the way I considered many things.  I read this book when I was in my late teens, and I was dazzled by the very idea that Lucifer might not want to be The Prince of Darkness. Handing the keys to Morpheus, he has his revenge on the Lord of Dream (see earlier stories) when he puts in his care the decision of who will now rule Hell.  Brilliant from start to finish, it is a thought provoking and engaging story.

Watchmen - Issues #1 - 12
Is there anything left to be said about Alan Moore's epic masterpiece?  With the awards and attention that have been heaped upon this work, I think it has all probably been said better than I can hope to say it.  For me this story might as well have been the foundation of Kingdom Come.  A world that once had heroes who very much reminded me of the Justice Society of America (in that they truly seemed to possess the mystery man ideal of the wartime) wakes up to find itself without heroes and on the verge of nuclear annihilation. What unfolds is in equal parts madness and hope. This was an easy pick, and I think everyone expects that it will make the final list.  We'll see.
 

V For Vendetta - Issue #1 - 10
It became a major motion picture like Watchmen, but it didn't capture the same spirit and essence that the books did.  Too many people have passed this over in pursuit of Moore's other classics (like Watchmen & From Hell) and I think they have all missed his greatest work.  For me, the absence of a super-hero culture makes this fascist future for Britain all the more frightening and makes it strike all that more closely to home. Freedoms have been given up in pursuit of safety and security, and the result has become a very Orwellian destiny for England. The movie did this tale no justice, and I saw no reason in it why its people should rebel. The book leaves no such confusion, which is why I absolutely love this series.
 

Griffin - #1 - 6
Scratching your head yet?  Who the hell is The Griffin, and how on earth does this series manage to land on a list with such well known and impressive authors? Let me steal from the graphic novel description over at the Slave Labour Graphics site (www.slgcomic.com) "The Griffin tells the tale of Matt Williams, a teenager who leaves his family and planet behind to become a warrior for a mysterious alien race in exchange for super-powers. After a 20-year absence, what happens when he tries to go home again? Family issues are the least of his problems when the aliens come after him and he must defend his planet against his former masters." I own the prestige format books published by DC and they are beautiful. I like a lot of things about this book, including its ability to keep me entertained with great concepts, humor and political ideology. It isn't as deep as Moore's work, or as powerful as Ellis' but it is a lot of fun, and that has to count for something!

Alright, tomorrow we'll take a break from the consideration for the top ten while we talk about some of the newest issues I've gotten and what I liked or didn't like about them.  Unless something else comes to mind, and then I'll just write whatever the hell I want.

Because I can.
 

Some of the Top 10 contenders...

Some early front runners in my search to identify my ten favorite comic book stories ever jump immediately to mind.

Planetary - #1 to 27
Twenty seven issues long, and every single one of them is as interesting and compelling as the others.  The mantra of the Planetary organization is: "It's a strange world...let's keep it that way." This book was pitched to me as an adventure book in the vein of the original Fantastic Four, with X-Files type elements that would slowly peel back layer after layer of the secret history of the world.  I was intrigued, and the book rapidly rose to become one of my very favorites. Definitely in consideration for a spot in the top ten.

Kingdom Come - #1 - 4
Mark Waid writes and Alex Ross handles the art in what was one of the most eye opening limited series I have ever read. What became of the world that in the future the Justice League is no more, and mankind doesn't look up to superhumans, but rather resents and fears them? What of the elderly pastor who sees the approaching of Armageddon? What role will Superman play, and can his reemergence into the world stem the tide of doom? There are too many underlying messages in this to simply sum it up to any simple theme, but it is hard not to be impressed by Mark's synergy with Alex, and the gripping tale that they unfold for you. I'll be shocked if this doesn't make the top five.

Starman - #0 - 81
I've told everyone who would listen, over and over again, that this is simply the smartest and most inspired super-hero series ever written, and to this day I stand by that. To write to the quality that Robinson did, for the amount of time that he did, and keep everything as fresh and interesting from start to finish was an amazing accomplishment. What's more, I love that he was able to make this series transcend the titular hero as an identity and become the tale of a legacy that spans thousands of years.  I like his revival of The Shade as well.  This will get a lot of consideration because of the scope of the work!

Kick Ass #1 - 7 
Soon to be a major motion picture, this book from Marvel was published outside its regular continuity and features a young high school outcast who decides to make himself a super-hero for real.  This is probably every puritan parent's worst nightmare come to life, that their children will read tales of fantasy like a comic book and then try and act them out.  I remember the terror of Dungeons and Dragons in the eighties when certain religious groups were certain that their children would go insane playing such a game, and become devil worshipers, and this premise loosely reflects that thought.  Things go about how you would expect for our hero, and it gets really messed up before its all over.  A quality read that gets a lot of points for the originality of the storyline.

speaking of originality...

Preacher #1 -  66
Like Starman and Planetary before it, Preacher is a work that cannot be taken in segments in my opinion. True, you could engage in reading just a piece of the story and find it very enjoyable, but I don't think its the kind of thing that you put down once you're engaged in it. One of the few stories to span that kind of time and remain offensive and fun throughout, Preacher was truly an 'on the edge' book when it was launched and I think it probably finds its way (as a whole) into the top ten before all is said and done.



Now, before I take off for the night, here are some other series I'll be thinking about before tomorrow's blog:

The Authority (volume one, issues #1 - 12)
Batman: The Dark Knight Returns (issues #1 - 4)
Sandman (issues #21 - 28)
Watchmen (issues #1 - 12)
V For Vendetta (issues #1 - 10)
Griffin (issues #1 - 6)

Squish the fish

What does the world have against fish?

Namor and Aquaman remain two of the characters that neither DC nor Marvel ever seem to be able to keep functional as a mainstream book, and I don't get it.  Admittedly I've always been fascinated by the idea of a lost civilization, and Atlantis was one of my favorite myths when I was a young boy, so it isn't hard to understand why I see such vast and untapped potential in both of these characters.  They represent some of my favorite story telling elements; outcasts, royalty, lost civilizations. Yet time and again they are launched into the comic world as supporting characters, or as lead characters who have to be melded to feel as though they belong amongst the surface dwellers.

I think most of the writers (and editors) have it all wrong.

In Namor's case I do find some level of interest in his arrogant contempt for Reed Richards, and his unabashed pursuit of Susan Storm.  In that area at least he tends to reflect the kingly qualities of old, not all of which were admirable. In Marvel's universe Namor is considered to have been the first mutant, a role which should carry with it special consideration.  Then again, I think I recall them suggesting that that is no longer the case, as one of the thousands of X-Men villains turned out to have been around since the time of the pharaohs I think.  In any event, Namor was an ally of Captain America in the Second World War, and is often believed to have had a close relationship with Steve Rogers.  Too often though the tales which include him have, in my experience, focused on what he does in the world of men, with his kingdom and its roles in Earthly affairs playing out in the background as a minor plot.

I don't know for sure that a great Namor tale could be told, but I would certainly like to see somebody try.  Here is this mutant of sensational power and strength, who is always brought into the enclaves of the powerful (Avengers Illuminati & Osborne's Dark Council) out of respect for his role historically to Marvel, and yet when the time comes for him to either stand as a villain or rise as a hero he seems to take a back seat to others (Cap, Doom, the FF.) When will Namor be either THE villain or THE hero?  I don't mind the fact that he has waffled back and forth as has suited the writer's fancy, because I see him in the same way that I see Doom, or T'Challa.  Namor is a foreign dignitary who must always consider the best interests of his kingdom  before all else. But it is time for him to stop playing second fiddle.  Is Cap really more impressive than Namor?  He doesn't rule the largest nation on Earth.  He isn't the world's first mutant. And the suggestion he's a more potent hero might even be debatable.

Yet Namor remains a periphery character for Marvel.

Over in DC we have seen a much more concerted effort to elevate the status of Aquaman on more than one occasion, and when the editors decided that Grant Morrison's relaunch of JLA would include the BIG GUNS, that included Aquaman.  He is considered a force in the DCU, although he seldom gets to elevate himself to that status in major stories.  But that isn't where I want to start talking about the disrespect that continues to be heaped on this character.  I want to start.........with his name.

Aquaman is a name that, in my opinion, the press would have called him; not something his friends or family should be calling him.  It borders on racist. The man is a king.  His name when he was raised on land was Arthur Curry (and I doubt it is a coincidence that he was destined to become King Arthur) and that translates, I suppose, to his Atlantean name of Orin. Nobility should be above being referred to as Aquaman. It would be like calling the Blob Fatguy, or calling Two Face Ugly Bastard.  I understand the roots and heritage of the character's naming, and I appreciate the importance of the continuity of such things.  I'm not advocating changing the character's name, but I would like to see his writers treat him with enough respect to realize that he would have put a stop to that name a long, long time ago.  He's a king.  He doesn't need a 'secret identity' which means he doesn't need a code name.

DC has, at times, put more effort into grounding Orin's books in the culture and political intrigue of Atlantis, placing the major focus of their stories in his under water kingdom.  I like the efforts that were made on Peter David's run on the book, but the stories I really liked were just as that series was being cancelled, when Dan Jurgens took over the book and did an arc.  It's a very interesting and engaging interpretation of a kingdom under the water, ruled by a lord who has gained an almost legendary status amongst his people.  It had a real 'high fantasy' feel about it that I really enjoyed, but unfortunately it was a very short story arc and then it was gone.  I'd like to see more of that.

I also don't think that enough is made of just how powerful these two men really are.  They're insanely strong under the water, at depths that we would be crushed at.  Consider how strong that should make them above the water, and how dense their bodies should be (making them very hard to hurt.) Namor can fly (which is stupid) and Orin has the ability to communicate with all forms of sea life (a low level telepath who, it was revealed in David's run, hadn't done nearly enough to hone or train that skill but had instead taken it for granted....an interesting point!)

I did enjoy Morrison's take on Orin in his graphic novel Earth 2, in which the JLA is recruited to go to the anti-matter universe to try and put an end to the Crime Syndicate (evil JLA) and their rule of that world.  The Martian Manhunter and Orin stay behind to defend Earth, and man oh man is it cool when they unload on the Crime Syndicate.  Check it out, it's an interesting read in which good and evil are examined under the question of nature versus nurture.

So, now that I've shaken off the wrist pain and gotten back at this, I'm going to be spending some time considering what are the greatest ten comic stories I've ever read.  When I start to pull them into some kind of order, I'll start sharing them with you.  I encourage you to jump in and tell me which ones you think should be considered, and which ones you've read and loved the best.

Until then...

Powers, Supergod & why Joker isn't a villain

I read the newest issue of Powers last night.  I know from talking to some friends that not everyone thinks that Powers is still the solid book it was in its heyday. Some people think that Bendis lost the fresh edge and take on Powers that he had years ago, and that now the book doesn't read the same.  I'm not sure that I feel the same way.  I still enjoy Powers for its slightly more realistic take on how the US might respond to the open existence of super powers.  The fact that they are generally outlaws and that there is a special division in the police department assigned to specifically deal with them remains a setting that I enjoy.  The book, for me, remains a mixture of the super-hero genre with the crime noire genre, and is accented by what I think is great dialogue.

I read this issue and I don't see why anyone would ignore what is clearly a very unique super-hero book. This new series seems to be setting the stage for us to learn a whole lot more about the primary character, and just how long he's been around as a Power. We see that he was young and active in the World War, which has now brought Nazis into the story, and we already saw that he was involved in the mob scene back when Las Vegas was really starting to come into its own.  How far back does the story of Christian Walker go?  Could he be the original Power? Just some speculating.  I don't really have any insights to tell me that Bendis is heading in that direction, but I am intrigued by where he is heading.

I think this is a post-hype success.  Some people got off of it when it got too popular, citing a failure to continue to deliver its pre-hype success, but I disagree.

Moving away from Bendis and back to Ellis, I also read the second issue of his five part series Supergod.  The tale is a hardline condemnation of human research into genetic engineering laid over top of a series of cultural observations about how certain nations might envision the idea of creating their own super being / deity. The result, as we see the story through the eyes of a narrator in Britain who has more than his share of good laughs at the Americans (Ellis seems to do this a lot I think) appears to be Armageddon. We are seeing/hearing the stories that lead to the final days of mankind on Earth, and what we are privy to is a complex series of experiments as countries like Russia, England, India and Iran engage in the most lethal and insane arms races ever conceived.

Its too early for me to tell you if I like the story or not.  Right now it is reading a lot like Warren expounding his political views on other nations, and not enough like a story.  That said, I'm going to read it through until the end, because Ellis has earned that much respect from me.

Before I go for today (it's short, but I've got the flu) I need to clear something up; The Joker is not a villain.

Obviously he gets a lot of press as the man most people believe to be Batman's arch-enemy (they're wrong) and as such is widely regarded as a villain.  He isn't.  Sure, in some stories he comes across as as scheming, manipulative bad guy, but he only really rings true when people get that at his core he is quite simply......insane. The man is evil manifested in the form of a man who has completely lost his touch with reality and is incapable of perceiving the world as it actually is.  This removes him from any dialogue about him being a great villain, because all great villains have a single trait in common; they think they're good guys.

Lex Luthor believes himself to be the pinnacle of human genius, and that Superman is a threat to the world.

Ra's Al Ghul (who IS Batman's arch-enemy) believes that he is destined to save the world from mankind.

even Victor Von Doom believes that he is the rightful ruler of his people, and that the American super-heroes are pursuing a vendetta against him.

The Joker?  All he thinks about are whether or not Cheerios should be sqaure, and why Batman doesn't love him.  He's frickin' nuts.  He may be the most psychotic character ever.  He could argue for a place in the upper echelon of evil.  But as villains go, he lacks, I think, the cognitive recognition of purpose to be a great villain.

Brettell out!

Doom in a landslide

So the debate is already over.

Nobody really chimed in, which is so disappointing that I won't even comment on it beyond this, but I just finished reading Straczynski's run on Thor, which picks up with Kieron Gillen's run, and in case you didn't already know this....Doctor Doom is the greatest villain ever created.  It actually makes sense too, because you kind of have to be bad-ass when you're created to go one on four with The Fantastic Four (who as a group are underrated these days.)

In Stracz's Thor run, which is solid by the way and actually spend more of its time focusing on his role amongst the Asgardians rather than his impact on the super-hero community (which I liked), Doom aligns himself with Loki in a major stratagem designed to impart him with power capable of rivaling Odin. It is bold.  It is audacious. It has a certain arrogance that could only come from Victor Von Doom (who for those of you in the know is almost half as cool as Straud Von Chaos.) Seeing Doom make a play for divine power in the form of a super-charged version of the Destroyer armor was pretty cool.  All in all it brings Doom back into focus around Marvel as THE bad guy.

That isn't where it stops though. Doom also took aim at Wakanda in the recent story arcs of Black Panther, showing a political agenda that suggests that he is preparing for a massive military move to conquer the technologically advanced nation.  With a limited series coming soon it would appear that he is going to succeed, and that will change the power dynamic of Marvel for some time to come.

Still not convinced?  His role in Dark Reign shouldn't be ignored.  Nor the fact that twenty something years ago he stole The Beyonder's powers.  His hubris alone should earn him a spot at the top of the argument.

Who could stand against him? Luthor?  I like Luthor, but Doom is equally as smart, equally as cunning, but he wears waaaaay better armor and he's a dangerous mage.  Luthor gets his ass handed to him.  Ra's Al Ghul?  I give that guy more credit than most people do.  He has built an empire of power that has spanned for centuries and only a certain detective has ever been in a position to thwart him.  He's ruthless, and he isn't above using magic and science to further his agendas. His cunning is easily Doom's equal, and his adversary may actually be more dangerous that super-genius Reed Richards.  So why give the nod to Doom?  Two things.  Battle armor.  Doom has the corner on the market.  Also, Doom rules a nation, and wields the authority with open disdain for his opponents.  Ra's moves behind the scenes, which makes him more lethal and scary, but not necessarily more dangerous.  Doom brings world law into play every now and then, and its an element that few people consider when they think about how dangerous the bastard really is.

Who else could I consider?

Spidey's villains suck balls. Magneto might not even be a villain (if they would just make him STAY a racist prick, he'd be in the running.) The Red Skull?  Please! Loki?  There's something about proclaiming yourself the God of Lies & Mischief that takes the sting out of being a villain. Sinestro?  Piss off. Zoom? Inverting your hero doesn't make a great villain.

No.  I think it's Doom.

In a landslide.